his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
