I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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