i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
