Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
