dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
