Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
