That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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