dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
