I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
