Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
