..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
