just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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