I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
