I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
