dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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