Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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