The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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