bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
