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what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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