Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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