Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
