I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
