My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
