I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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