Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
