I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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