We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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