Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I smell stomach acid.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
