dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
