Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
