answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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