Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
