why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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