isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
