He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
