420 ftw
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
