with your own penis?
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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