I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
