We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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