That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
