it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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