I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
