I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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