Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
