come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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