I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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