I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
