I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
