Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
