whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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