bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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