What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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