my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just googled if crying burns calories
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
