I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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